A Matchmaker’s Perspective: 6 Red Flags & Green Lights That Show How Ready You Are For a Relationship
Our team of matchmakers has assisted multiple clients and screened hundreds of thousands of profiles - in our journey, we’ve come across certain green lights that indicate a person is primed & ready for marriage (…aaaand some red flags that that he/she may not be). Here’s your free peek at some of them!
🚩 He swipes through profiles so fast he leaves smoke clouds.
He says his biggest priority is finding a woman who’s “on fire for Christ - with a radical love for serving”, but swipes left on women in 0.005 seconds flat……
Unless he’s the world champion in speed-reading, we highly doubt that what he says is his main priority is truly his main priority.
Green light - He takes the time to evaluate her FULL profile (not just pics)
Sure, the lady may not have impressed him much at first glance, but he still took the time to go over what she believes, what her personality is like.
He knows pictures don’t tell the whole story and is willing to not judge wholly on appearances - that’s Christ-like behavior right there!
🚩 She doesn’t decline a match…… but doesn’t cooperate in arranging calls/ meetups either
She knows he meets all her stated criteria, but is hoping for someone “better” (usually more good-looking) - so calls go unanswered, and monosyllabic late texts are all she delivers.
Unless she has extenuating circumstances (ill-health, personal struggles) - this demeaning attitude towards accepted matches indicates a flaky, immature nature not befitting a Christian, especially not one looking for marriage.
Green light - She gives equal energy to any accepted match
She treats others like she’d want to be treated. Even if her decision ends up ultimately being a negative, she optimistically commits to getting to know her match, and communicates clearly throughout the process, even if it comes to explaining why things may not work out romantically for them.
🚩 He has a string of matches he’s not just talking to, but flirting with, simultaneously
While it’s perfectly alright to engage with multiple likely matches at a time (friendly, no-pressure, getting-to-know-you type of conversations) - it is counter-productive to introduce romantic intention with each of them from the get-go.
Clearly no godly man is going to pursue relationships with multiple women at a time - so starting so many fires is just going to get people burnt.
Green light - He pursues one match romantically at a time
We’ve seen some great, genuinely godly clients refuse to even look at other profiles once they’ve found someone they’ve prayed about and would like to pursue.
This is the healthiest way to prepare yourself to begin a relationship - not having loose strands all over the place to mess up your budding romance.
🚩 She has a list of expectations that are stacked up to the sky!
It’s tempting for people (especially those seeking matchmaking assistance) to load up on preferences like they’re at a buffet, but this generally just leads to disappointment.
(Pssst - for more details on how to create a realistic, Christian dating checklist that gets the best results, see this article)
Green light - She sticks to a few, realistic criteria (that she also fulfills!)
Gasp - she only wants someone around her age who shares her faith, has a job, and serves the brethren in some manner?? That’s a winner right there!
Even if a spouse is not in her future, her realistic checklist shows that she is at peace with herself internally, and not needlessly tormenting herself with shallow goals derived from Instagram. A successful, well-lived life is hers!
🚩 He laments that no one understands him, that he’s never been on a date, and that he struggles sooo much - would someone take pity and marry him already?
Starting off your dating pursuits with a pessimistic, complaining tone like this signals a HOST of red flags - this guy has issues he needs to work through, and should not even pursue a relationship at this point of time. He’s been mulling far too long about his unattractiveness, lack of romance, general ‘unfairness in life’ etc., and is anchoring all his hopes for happiness on a partner.
This is way too much pressure for any human to bear, and if anyone ends up dating him out of pity, he will - more likely than not - drag her down with all his insecurities.
Green light - Has a well-thought out profile that is optimistic, while being authentic
Optimism is the spice of life, and should be the hallmark of every genuine Christian - he doesn’t have to incorporate a joke into every sentence, but a profile that shows he’s positive about life and secure in God’s path for him is bound to generate interest.
Coupled with great photos - these are the rare, genuine, and highly-demanded gems in matrimonial pools that get quickly snapped up.
🚩 His pictures scream “Take me as I am - I’m not going to dress up (or bathe, or smile) for anyone!”
It’s one thing to present a fake, heavily-edited version of yourself online - but to put yourself out there, and display little-to-no effort in attire/background (such as having visible dandruff flakes on shoulders, stale pizza crusts around pillow, etc) is to practically beg for crickets in his inbox (and invite scammers).
This lack of effort - in a public photo no less - is a big ol’ warning sign of what life with him would look like, and can scare away even potential matches.
Green light - His pictures are well-lit, he’s dressed with care, and he radiates positivity and energy!
This is a guy who knows how to work with what he’s been given. Sure he may not be the tallest or have a chiselled jaw, but his effort in presenting himself in the best light is ALWAYS appreciated.
With dating profiles, as in every aspect of life, striving to be *your* best and embracing your unique gifts, instead of desperately mimicking others or giving up altogether, is the way to reap success.
These are a few insights that guide us as matchmakers in both choosing clients and finding the right matches for them - we hope they help you as well!